Remember when we told celebrity gossip followers that Paris Hilton was pretending to be a lesbian? Well, the talentless socialite is out to prove us correct.

The latest example of her gay shenanigans involve actress Elisha Cuthbert. According to Us Weekly, the two blondes were “all over each other and making out” at New York’s Tenjune club Tuesday night.

“Who knew?” said the source of the unlikely pairing, one who was obviously oblivious to our recent entertainment news reports.

Hilton and Cuthbert didn’t arrive at Tenjune together. Hilton was there for a birthday party and was seen dancing on banquets. Earlier in the evening, Paris attended the BlackBerry Pink Pearl Launch Party.

“She was actually super well behaved and even took the time to take some photos with the BlackBerry executives,” a witness told the magazine.

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Paris Hilton looks plastic in this picture.

Her boobs look monstrous.

And her occasional boyfriend, Alex Vaggo, looks brooding.

It all added up to an evening at Goa nightclub for the couple last night. Looks like they had a great time!

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Don’t ask us what Paris Hilton is wearing, or what this dude sitting next to her is thinking. All we know is that she’s in Germany and was spotted canoodling with a young model named Julian. Who is he? Any of you celebrity gossip fans know?

  Poor Julian has no clue what is about to hit him. Our guess? Chlamydia.

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Paris Hilton is used to getting what she wants.

Attention for a sex tape? Check! Sympathy from time spent incarcerated? Check! Stavros Niarchos at her beck and call? Not so fast…

The New York Post reports that the heiress spent all week in Miami, trying to get the attention of her former lover. Trailing Niarchos from location to location didn’t work out so well, however.

Hilton first ran into him at Mansion Wednesday night, where he was paid to host the official Art Basel kickoff party. When the Greek shipping heir showed up with the Brandon Davis’ ex-girlfriend, Caroline Vreeland, however, Paris was far from pleased.

A source said: “Paris beelined for Stavros, but he was chatting up Caroline. He was completely ignoring Paris, and she was furious. She shot them evil looks and finally stormed up to them and started screaming at Caroline.”

The following night, a similar scene was replayed: “Paris saw that Stavros was with a girl, and she went crazy. She literally stood on Stavros’ table and began screaming at him. Then she started dancing and trying to get his attention.”

The insider went on to say that “Paris went to great lengths trying to get Stavros’ date kicked out [of clubs], begging club security to get rid of the girl… Paris was so furious, she ended up walking up to the girl and just punched her.”

Hey, Jessica Sierra would at least be proud.

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