Mary Carey once ran for governor of California.

Somehow, though, that isn’t the weirdest action this porn star has taken in the last couple years: the adult film actress is now responsible for a stocking stuffer less appealing than naked Heather Mills pictures:

Carey is auctioning off autographed copies of her recently removed breast implants. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own pieces of silicon that have touched more men that Lindsay Lohan.

Sold via eBay, a portion of the proceeds from the sale of these fine Mary Carey implants will benefit the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

Apparently Gemma Atkinson has been under the impression people think her enormous breasts are real.

She recently said that’s because “they are teardrop shaped, so they droop” and don’t appear as phony as those of Heidi Montag or Pamela Anderson.

But the British lingerie model wasn’t done talking cleavage.

She said the operation left her unable to perform simple tasks, leading her to move back in with her mom because “I couldn’t do anything, not even open the fridge. I couldn’t brush my hair.”

So THAT’s why Britney Spears shaved her head! Has anyone checked on the validity of her knockers?