As you might be aware, Howard Stern recently held the Tiger Woods’ Mistress Beauty Pageant in order to see who the most beautiful mistress was that was had by the famous golfer while he was still married. Howard began the pageant by having all the mistresses dress up in bikinis, and then he asked them a series of questions regarding their relationship with Tiger Woods. Mostly Howard asked about Tiger’s sexual performance. What else would we expect?

The participants in the pageant were Jamie Jungers, Jaimee Grubbs, and Loredana Jolie. Rachel Uchitel, Tiger’s perhaps most well-known mistress was not allowed to compete in the competition because she had already signed a non-disclosure agreement with Tiger. Because it seems that Rachel was an actual relationship that Tiger had, and not just a one-night fling, I highly doubt that Rachel would have demeaned herself to take part anyways. But Jamie Jungers was crowned the winner of both the title of being the biggest whore, and $75,000. What’s so great about this story is that Jamie actually cried when Howard announced the winner. Oh, and she thanked God too. I don’t know, I highly doubt that God had anything to do with the pageant or with Tiger Woods’ affairs. Here are some tidbits from the pageant from Huffington Post,

“Jamie Jungers won the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant on the “Howard Stern Show” this morning. The winning alleged mistress earned $75,000 for her championship performance, and listeners were treated to juicy tidbits from Jungers, Jaimee Grubbs and Loredana Jolie.

According to tweets from listeners and attendees, Jungers claimed that Woods was well endowed. “Tiger’s wood was nine inches,” she evidently said. Former Playboy model Loredana Jolie, meanwhile, claimed Woods was “bigger and better” than Michael Jordan.

Both Grubbs and Jungers said that Woods never used condoms when sleeping with them, which echoes previous reports. Jungers reiterated that she slept with Woods the night his father died.”

What a sad state this world has come to. Honestly, we’re holding beauty pageants for mistresses now? Because the entire concept of beauty pageants wasn’t bad enough, I suppose. Whatever, Jamie. Congratulations on your win. It’s always nice when you can sell your soul to the devil (or in this case, Howard Stern) in exchange for a few bucks.

It’s been awhile since we’ve had a good Katie Holmes pregnancy rumor, hasn’t it? And as far as rumors go, this one is fantastic – meaning that it’s completely wild, ridiculous, and as far as I can tell, probably couldn’t be further from the truth.

According to Star magazine, Katie Holmes is being forced into pregnancy “against her will” by her loving husband, Tom Cruise. The rumors that Katie was pregnant again started with TMZ, who showed a picture of Katie standing in a store with a slightly billowy top on. They held up the picture, asked if she was pregnant, everyone in the room gave a resounding “NO!” and the story seemed to have been dropped. I guess it was at that point that Star jumped all over it and decided to take the story one step further by saying that she’s being forced into things like Scientology prenatal courses, and a detox that was pretty painful. Umm…just what exactly does Katie Holmes have to detox from exactly? Hollywood Dame has more on the story from Star,

“Katie Holmes is spending increasingly more time at the Scientology center reportedly undergoing Scientology ‘auditing,’ sparking rumors that she’s ‘being prepared’ for her second baby with nut-job husband Tom Cruise, this according to Star Magazine.

The gossip rag continues on to say that Katie spent four hours at the Hollywood Scientology Centre last week, and might be doing this because she’s getting “prepped” to have another child, with sources swearing that Holmes followed the exact same course of action right before getting pregnant with daughter Suri. According to a website run by the Church of Scientology, followers believe the “health and the sanity of the child begin long before birth.” Scientology auditing is used to restore self confidence, happiness and spiritual freedom and involves answering questions or following directions with the aim of being freed from unwanted barriers that inhibit natural ability.”

I don’t know if Katie is pregnant again or not. I’m thinking that it’s been slow in the news lately and she’s probably not. But I definitely don’t think that Tom Cruise is forcing her into anything against her will. I think Tom’s a kook and I think Katie’s a kook too but I think they’re kooks together. I think they are both honestly very happy in that relationship and that it’s probably a pretty equal marriage all around. I definitely don’t think Tom would subject her to treatments when she didn’t want to get them done. And if Katie really was at the Scientology Center, then she was probably there because she wanted to be.

Betty White has been confirmed for SNL. [PopEater]
K-Stew is a hot bitch. [LaineyGossip]
Little Miss I‘m A Princess But I Never Talk About It looks nice. [Go Fug Yourself]
Forget Camy Diaz, Jessica Biel should worry about this. Ugh. [A Socialite Life]
Chris Brown: irrelevant. [The Blemish]
More about Lindsay Lohan‘s sketchy lawyers. [Gawker]
Amy Winehouse really should design cracked-out ballet flats. [Dlisted]
Conan O‘Brien is going on tour! [Bitten and Bound]
The new Robin Hood trailer. Mm… Russell Crowe. [I’m Not Obsessed]
A little Sam Worthington news, for CB. [Pajiba]
Little people on the beach. [Yeeah]
Diane Kruger thought Josh Jackson was “pimply & bloated”. [The Frisky]
Christoph Waltz turns down oral sex. Wha? [Celebslam]
Gerard Butler explains his crooked face. It‘s a cute story. [Starpulse]
K-Stew must not grope DakFan. [Hollywood Rag]

Well, this was expected. A pose off! Cue Zoolander soundtrack. No, it’s fine. Here’s Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler at today’s Bounty Hunter premiere in London. She’s wearing some kind of gray-silver minidress with a black coat, he’s wearing a nice gray suit. They make a very attractive middle-aged couple. Since yesterday was a day for two big AnisBut posts (their W Magazine cover and Gerard talking about some bush-trimming), I’m just going to make up my own captions for these photos.

Gerard: Hey, Jennifer. Hey, Jenny, Jenny, Jen… pull my finger!
Jennifer: God, I wish you would shut up.

Jennifer: Is this movie going to bomb? Is it? F-ck.

Gerard: I should have brought Kaiser to this premiere. What’s that smell, by the way? Oh, it’s me.

Jennifer: Oh, God what is that? That’s disgusting Gerry. Settle down. Oh, no, can The Herpe be transferred through clothing?

Jennifer: I like to play with my hair. It’s my move. It’s my trademark. I’m going to call my perfume “Hairplay”. Get it?

Gerard Butler & Jennifer Aniston at the London premiere of Bounty Hunter on March 11, 2010. Credit: WENN.

This is Heidi Klum’s April Marie Claire cover. As fans of Project Runway know, Heidi is wearing a beautiful turquoise one-shoulder cocktail dress designed by one of the designers competing in this season’s PR. They actually made the cover outfit a challenge for the designers, and a dude named Anthony Williams won. I actually agreed with the judges’ decision that time around, and you can see why. This color and style just pops on the Marie Claire cover, and it feels very “fresh”. Plus, you know, it’s really hard for Heidi to take a bad photo. Well done!

Anyway, it doesn’t look like there are any significant interview excerpts. Williams, the designer, told the magazine: “Heidi’s pregnancy was happening right before our faces! he laughs. I thought, this woman is not sacrificing fashion at all. She is 100 percent full frontal ‘I am pregnant, I am fashion, and I am fierce.’ I was really inspired by that.” Here’s one short excerpt from Marie Claire:

Ask any woman to strip down for the camera five weeks post-childbirth, and she’ll laugh in your face. Ask Heidi Klum, and she’s totally game. At our cover shoot, the supermodel, mother of four, designer of two maternity lines, singer, host of Project Runway, and now virtual host of the series’ video game, joked that she might not fit into anything — then easily slipped into everything. The MC fashion team had one objective: Create strong, powerful looks worthy of the königin of all media. Minimal, architectural pieces in dark, sophisticated tones highlighted the woman who has it all — and does even more.

[From Marie Claire]

Nice. Something I’ve noticed about Heidi through watching all of the seasons of PR is that she’s gotten much more vocal and opinionated about fashion and everything else. I think she’s really come into her own throughout the series, and I hope PR continues for years to come.

Sidenote: I forgot to mention this in the Oscar fashion posts, but Chris March from Season 4 not only designed Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes dress, but her Oscar dress as well! Sigh… I love PR!

Marie Claire cover courtesy of CoverAwards, and additional images courtesy of Marie Claire online.