Jennifer Lopez’s first ex-husband, Ojani Noa, is making headlines by threatening to release nude tapes of the music star from their short union together.

Choreographer Cris Judd, best known for his two-year marriage to J. Lo, is also in the news this week - but only because he decided to get married again.

He and Kelly A. Wolfe have tied the knot in a small ceremony with about 35 guests in Laguna Beach, Calif., the dancer tells Us Weekly. Sounds delightful.

“It was completely and utterly perfect,” says Judd, who adds that the couple even wrote their own vows, which made the wedding ceremony “fantastic.”

Former Mr. J. Lo Cris Judd is now Mr. Kelly A. Wolfe!

He and Wolfe have been together for about nine months. Earlier this month, tabloids reported that the Juddster popped the question in San Francisco.

Judd knew “pretty much right away” he wanted to marry Wolfe: “She’s beautiful and she’s fantastic,” he said. “It’s just so easy to be around each other.”

Any honeymoon plans for the pair?

“Not right now,” Judd said.

Oh well.

Soon-to-be-divorced reality TV father of eight Jon Gosselin is single and ready to mingle get in the pants of some of the cutest blondes in Hollywood.

Too bad they’ll probably have a say in it and turn down that kind offer, although hey, you never know. The Hills could use a little bit of a ratings boost.

According to Star, Jon’s made a list, and there’s no need to check it twice, because the girls he’d most like to bang are all sexy Hollywood staples.

“What he really wants is to hook up with Lindsay Lohan, Kristin Cavallari and Whitney Port,” an insider says of Jon G.’s “hit list” of young starlets.

MR. COOL: Jon Gosselin aspires to bed Hills stars past and present.

We’d imagine Port is out of his league, as she is not desperate. Kristin Cavallari, though? If she’ll fake-date Justin-Bobby, Jon might have a chance.

Girl clearly has low standards and wants to be famous, after all.

“He’s like a kid in a candy store and going absolutely wild,” Jon’s friend dishes. “Let’s just say he definitely isn’t on the prowl for another wife.”

And Jon’s libido is never satisfied, another close friend of his dishes. “He’s even been with two girls on the same day - and it’s still not enough!”

Wait, Jon has hooked up with two chicks at the same time?

Unless their names were Hailey Glassman and Kate Major, we had no idea he pulled that off. And we really pity those girls, because come on.

- Lady GaGa Goes Down In Canada [I’m Not Obsessed]
- Some Things Change, but the Turk Dance Always Remains the Same [Pajiba]
- The Stefani-Rossdales Prepare For Takeoff [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- ‘Up in the Air’ gives Paramount a marketing challenge [Showhype]
- Vanessa Minnillo is on vacation [The Blemish]
- Padma Lakshmi Likes Herself Better Naked [Starpulse]
- Katharine McPhee Isn’t Waiting For Her Pimp [Hollywood Rag]
- Cat Baby Sitter [CityRag]
- Six Things Every Girl Secretly Wishes Her Boyfriend Would Do [College Candy]
- Salma Hayek @ Mamounia Hotel Inauguration in Marrakech [Moe Jackson]

You may have heard the rumor that Michael Lohan, via Twitter, was threatening to kill himself. Rest assured, the esteemed Lohan family patriarch is alive and well, and assures various concerned media outlets that there’s someone out there on Twitter pretending to be him. Considering how out-of-this-world on-the-ball the Dina Lohan fake Twitterer was, it’s no surprise someone eventually pretended to be Michael. Really, the only surprising thing is that it took so long. Nonetheless, Michael is alive and well. Depending on your definition of “well.”

Michael Lohan doesn’t exactly have a history of verbal restraint, so when a Twitter account named @themichaellohan began writing snippets about family drama and wanting to jump off of the Brooklyn Bridge, entertainment bloggers across the Web figured it was the real deal. Thankfully, it seems the Tweets — like the one that read: “fiance just left me. my family hates me, i spent Thanksgiving with my mom i just cant do any of this any more” — were all bogus, and the father of Lindsay Lohan is still with us. All the Details After the Jump >>

Word of the alleged suicide pleas began to spread on Sunday evening, with sites like Gawker.com and AllieIsWired all jumping on the story. In the Tweets, which have since been erased from the Twitter page, “Lohan” said: “death of father put me in a black hole IDK what to do” and that he was “heading to the brooklyn bridge.” He even sent one to Lindsay’s Twitter account, writing: “@lindsaylohan, love you b ye.” To see all of the now-vanished Tweets, visit AllieIsWired.

[From PopEater]

I’ve got to say, while suicide is never ever funny, it is especially awful that the fake Twitterer sent that message to Lindsay’s real Twitter account. While Michael Lohan is fun to mock, at no point was this particular form of mockery funny or in any way appropriate. But can you imagine if you were Lindsay and you got that Tweet? That is so over the line, and maybe one of the few times I’ve ever had any empathy for Lohans.

Michael wrote to Shabooty.com:

This is not not not me. I do not have and never had a twitter and twitters corp office confirms that. My lawyers r investigating

[From Shabooty]

So that’s that. Looking for an appropriate way to mock a Lohan? How about Shoe-Han?

Screencap thanks to Allie Is Wired. Here’s Michael with former BFF Jon Gosselin playing with their man toys in Reading, PA on October 11th. Images thanks to INF Photo.

Boo hoo for Chris Brown. He’s getting more hard knocks, thanks to all of us bitching ferociously about him getting to perform on Good Morning America. Especially after they’d canceled Adam Lambert’s scheduled performance for his questionable stage antics. Brown has been pulled from the morning show altogether, which is sort of good. And he won’t get to sing and dance and promote his career. The bad news is he’s been moved to 20/20, which could conceivably get him even more viewers. But it’s supposedly a serious “tell-all” interview, and Brown won’t get to plug his music and bounce around on stage like everything’s just fine and he’s a decent guy.

ABC had a change of heart over the weekend and will not let R&B singer Chris Brown sing next week on “Good Morning America.” Instead, Brown has agreed to “come clean” in a primetime interview about what happened the night he beat up former girlfriend Rhianna, according to reports,

The network was bitterly criticized last week after it canceled a performance by flamboyant “Idol” star Adam Lambert on “GMA” — following his raunchy performance on the American Music Awards show — then announced plans for Brown to promote his latest CD with a live show on the program.

When Brown appeared recently on “Larry King Live” and afternoon talk show “Wendy Williams” to apologize for the incident, he sidestepped questions about what happened last February on the night before the Grammy awards when Rhianna, battered and bruised, walked into an LA police station.

Now, he is promising to give details of the incident in an “in-depth interview” with “GMA” host Robin Roberts set to air on “20/20″ Dec. 11. His appearance follows by a month Rhianna’s shocking interview with Diane Sawyer on the same show that drew nearly 9 million viewers, unusually high for a news show.

On that show, Rhianna admitted she was “embarrassed” that she had gone back to Brown shortly after the beating and entertained the idea of a reconciliation. The interview with Brown — which is being billed as his reply to Rhianna — was taped over the weekend, according to reports. ABC did not say why it canceled its original plan to air a Brown interview and stage a short concert only on its morning show and move it to primetime — without the music.

[From the New York Post]

Well sure, obviously they couldn’t say, “We made such a bad decision that everyone freaked out so we had to do something more responsible!” Thus… no comment. I doubt this’ll be Chris Brown’s mea culpa. I doubt he has one in him. I mean the jackass has proven time and time again that he doesn’t think he did anything wrong, and he thinks it’s worthy of mockery. Oh, and let’s not forget how it’s our fault he doesn’t seem sorry. The only – only – thing that might ever make him have just a teeny, tiny sliver of doubt that maybe he wasn’t totally justified in beating the sh*t out of Rihanna are the consequences to his career. Which is why it’s so important that people continue to boycott Brown until he’s genuinely sorry. Or the end of time. Whichever comes first. Sadly, my money is on the end of time.

As much as the Post tried to make it sound like Brown will reveal some of the details of the event or actually tell the truth about what was going through his head, I don’t believe it. Once a temperamental asshole, always a temperamental asshole. It may take a long time, but I truly believe Chris Brown will eventually feel the repercussions. Even if it just means he ends up broke. At least he can sell that $300,000 “Oops!” necklace. That was a smart investment for the future.