As the clock ticks down to the planned (and totally insane!) October 17th release date of Oliver Stone’s W, more details are emerging about the plot and structure of what we’re still fairly convinced is some sort of elaborate April Fool’s Day stunt. We’ve seen the teaser poster, and now, the Los Angeles Times’ John Horn checks in on the film and reveals what could go down in cinematic history as one of the medium’s most outrageous structural devices:

DRESSED IN a suffocating Rangers warmup jacket earlier on that scorching June day, Brolin kept running into an outfield wall, trying to make a heroic catch as part of the film’s baseball-oriented fantasy framing device.

Oh boy. While this is neither the first nor certainly the last time that Stone has sprinkled a bit of his patented blend of cinematic crazy into one of his scripts, this framing device sounds like it might have been concocted during an acid flashback that ended with Stone huddled in a corner of a room watching video of Willie Mays’ miracle catch on ESPN Classic. Bonus points to Stone for showing a dirty and bloody Bush (pictured above), but if the film ends with Josh Brolin making a leaping catch in centerfield (scored, of course, with John Fogerty’s “Centerfield”) interspersed with documentary footage of the statue of Saddam Hussein falling down in Baghdad, we’ll be the ones leading the charge to petition a judge to toss Stone in Movie Jail and to throw away the key.

• Oliver Stone and ‘W.,’ a story of President Bush [LAT]

It was the tribal rump-humping that would incite a beach-dwellers’ Civil War. (OK, maybe not directly, but dotted-lines can be drawn.) In its path—a thousand Nicaraguan signoritas’ hearts, mashed into a fine pulp. Of what do we speak? Why, Mashew McDonauhdgrl’s flip-flop displacing Firewater Demon Dance of Handsy Pasión, of course! And thanks to the fee-meeting blurry-cellphone-video-producers at TMZ, we can finally catch the glimpse of the star of 8000 forgettable romcoms, caught red-handed as he…uh…kinda shakes his butt to the beat, sweats profusely, and doesn’t come into direct contact with anyone else. Sssssscandalous.

• Matthew McConaughey: Dancing Fool [TMZ]

Ah yes, The Standard Downtown. While lots of shenanigans have gone down there over the years, none of them have this good of a soundtrack. Enjoy as Molls and Ed bring you today’s video of what’s going down in Los Angeles tonight:
-Matt and Kim @ King King.
-Spider Problem @ The Silverlake Lounge.
-White Dog @ The Silent Movie Theater.

Last night’s Living Lohan was all about Ali and her glass-breaking array of vocal talents. The happy family, which is somehow shrinking and growing simultaneously every day now, is still taking Las Vegas by storm as each member’s collective talents go into creating International Superstar-Turned-Trainwreck number two. Little Cody helps out by distracting Dina with adolescent silliness like concussions and that all-too-common need to be “loved,” Ali helps broaden the franchise by doing her best Daddy Left Us And I’m Gonna Record My Angst- And Nicotine-Laced Breakdowns For You! rehashing of Lindsay’s already perfected musical adventures, and Dina grants us with another round of must-have parenting lessons:

1) Build Value Systems By Cooing Over Tween Hotties, Ignoring Potentially Fatal Physical Traumas: As the merry threesome prepares to jet from their booby mommy enclave on Long Island to glittery, career-boosting party town for all ages Las Vegas, Dina provides a very important display of maternal morals. Cody, wincing in pain, reports a “concussion,” and after initially (intelligently!) ignoring his sobs, he repeats the alert, begging her to “listen!” But Dina marches ahead, tending to her judging responsibilities in the realm of Severely Underage Girl Sexiness, proving one’s own painfully immature value hierarchy should be spread to spawn firmly and decisively. Also, that no matter how “hot” one knows one is, never let on to the kiddies. They’ll be totally jealous.

2) Disguise Personal Ambitions By Vicariously Living Them Out Through Equally Talentless Daughter: No matter how stomach-turning and phlegm-laced her screeches, Dina encourages 14-year old Ali’s musical goals by following a very difficult method: imagination! Dina insists Ali is talented because she “trusts the producer.” The producer, who is being paid by Dina to provide a very pricey stage for practice and far too many recording sessions that cost who-knows-what. Dina’s solution to the reality? “I leave the room.”

3) Decrease “Mom” Time By Assigning Majority Of It To Staff And Hiring “Magicians”: Spending time with your kids can be totally annoying. You have to feign interest in their love of dumb boy things like sports (ick) and magic (so W.T.). So Dina, loving mother that she is, shows her sole male heir just how much she cares about him by providing suitable entertainment throughout the day. Translation? By hiring other people to insert Fun into his routine! And then bragging about the QT to other siblings, who are so exhausted from “singing” they yearn for her divided attention that much more.

• LIVING LOHAN [E!]