Archive for August, 2007

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Coked Up Pussy

Aug 31, 2007 Author: | Filed under: celebrity news & gossip

Check Out Celebrity Cellulite

No, this isn't a story about Lindsay Lohan doing cokie in the cooze. It's about this cat on coke. Poor pussy.

An Australian moron took his 8-month old cat to the vet after the cat's pupils were dilated and its heart was racing. The man confessed to the vet that the cat was locked in a cupboard overnight. He said the cat also had trouble walking, but denied that the cat had been exposed to anything toxic.

The cat would not allow the vets to perform any kinds of tests on it. It was basically freaking out. The vets kept questioning the man on what really went on with the cat. The vet decided that he wasn't getting any answers from the man, so he called up the man's wife. She admitted that the cat licked up a whole plate of cocaine that was served at a dinner party 2 days earlier.

Since there is no law requiring that vets report such incidents to the police the man was allowed to take the coked up pussy home.

This is an epidemic! First, Pete Doherty's kittens test positive for cocaine and now this?! The pussies of the world are in trouble and we need to help them!

That pussy is no joke. It lapped up an entire plate of the white stuff and didn't die.

Source

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Ross Thinks British Food Sucks

Aug 31, 2007 Author: | Filed under: celebrity news & gossip

I know it's a Holiday weekend and all, but damn this news day has been BLEAK. I don't think most of you care, since some of you are probably already drunk. I envy you. Anyway, this is why I bring you a quote from David Schwimmer on British food.

He told a British journalist, "You guys deep-fry everything. Even healthy British food like Shepherd's Pie makes you put on 20 pounds after every meal."

Ironically, Ross is out promoting his new movie "Run, Fat Boy Run" which he shot in London.

The thing is British food is amazing, because lots of things are fried and you know how I feel about that. There's a British joint by my house that deep fries Mars bars and I can eat that crap for breakfast.

Ross also comes from the damn U.S. so he shouldn't talk about unhealthy food. I think we might have invented it. Where else can you get Cinnamon Roll French Toast?! That shit is delicious. Fried upon fried.

Source VIA Celebitchy

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Kelly Preston Is The New Miss Cleo

Aug 31, 2007 Author: | Filed under: celebrity news & gossip

Brainwashed party of 1! Kelly Preston said she knew as a 16-year-old she was going to marry John Travolta.

She said, "I did have sort of a flash. I came out of a film, saw the poster for Grease and I knew I'd be with him. I just knew. I was about 16 years old. Ireally knew it and it turned into, 'I'm going to marry that man,' and so he likes to tease me that I walked out and said, 'I'm going to marry that man,' and then did, ultimately."

I didn't know Scientology had writers on staff? Katie Holmes needs to take a good, hard look at Kelly Preston, because that's her life….actually…that's her life now!

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Afternoon Crumbs

Aug 31, 2007 Author: | Filed under: celebrity news & gossip

Sheryl Crow could use a flea bath - A Socialite's Life

Nicole Richie juices up in one of Mrs. Roper's old ones - Popsugar

Kate Walsh is a bridezilla - Just Jared

Sienna Miller is nice to photographers - IDLYITW

Madge loves it in the ass - Hollywood Rag

Oprah and Tyra make good gaytime TV - Jezebel

ICYMI: Elle Macpherson being bikini hot - Egotastic!

Jennifer Garner's O-face (NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Anna Kournikova is a hot potato - Hollywood Tuna

Gossip: 1 year ago - Cityrag

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Tale of the Tape: Lauren Conrad vs. Matt Leinart

Aug 31, 2007 Author: | Filed under: celebrity news & gossip

The Hollywood Gossip staff is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world you probably have never even considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.

Earlier this week, the claws came out as TV cheerleaders Hayden Panettiere and Minka Kelly (meow!) battled for Hollywood Gossip glory. Today, a pair of cute SoCal products go head to head. Who will emerge victorious when Lauren Conrad goes 10 grueling rounds with Matt Leinart? Let’s find out. Ding, ding!

1. SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA TIES

Lauren Conrad: Born in Newport Beach, grew up in Laguna Beach, attends Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising
Matt Leinart: Born and raised in Santa Ana, started for three years at quarterback for USC
Edge: Matt

2. ONE-TWO PUNCH

Lauren Conrad: Audrina Patridge, Whitney Port
Matt Leinart: Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald
Edge: Lauren

3. NOTABLE FLINGS

Lauren Conrad: Stephen Colletti, Jason Wahler, Brody Jenner
Matt Leinart: Kristin Cavallari, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton
Edge: Matt

4. BIGGEST WEAKNESS

Lauren Conrad: Hollywood clubs, bad boys
Matt Leinart: Hollywood clubs, weak-side blitz
Edge: Even

5. MARKETABILITY

Lauren Conrad: Has her own reality show, The Hills, and her own fashion line, plus numerous endorsement deals and a great magazine internship
Matt Leinart: Signed six-year, $51M contract with Arizona Cardinals
Edge: Matt

6. MAJOR ACCOLADES

Lauren Conrad: Teen Choice Award for Favorite Reality Star
Matt Leinart: Heisman Trophy
Edge: Matt

7. CONTROVERSIAL INCIDENT

Lauren Conrad: Sex tape rumors
Matt Leinart: Custody and child support battle with Brynn Cameron
Edge: Lauren

8. BUSH CONNECTION

Lauren Conrad: Rich Orange County parents probably voted for George W.
Matt Leinart: Played with Reggie at USC, sees plenty in free time
Edge: Matt

9. MEMORABLY BLEW …

Lauren Conrad: Jason Wahler.
Matt Leinart: A 23-3 fourth quarter lead against the Bears.
Edge: Even

10. MEMORABLY THREW …

Lauren Conrad: … down with that bitch Heidi Montag.
Matt Leinart: … the game-winning TD pass to Larry Fitzgerald in Week 14 against the first-place Seahawks
Edge: Lauren

THE VERDICT: Matt Leinart squeaks out a 6-4 win over LC, but lest Lauren be disappointed by her showing, rest assured: we’d much rather watch a new episode of The Hills than an Arizona Cardinals game. They are bad! Every year! It’s uncanny.